So there is a local blogger that I read, Jacinda, and she does awesome weekly Family Nights. This last one she posted about was an Under the Sea night complete with pictures, food suggestions and activities. Go check it out and tell her NerdMom sent you!
Over at Silicon Valley Moms Blog there is quite a discussion going on about preschoolers and pedicures. Is it appropriate for a kid who is still sucking her thumb to be getting a pedicure? My gut says no way in the world but… Now the NerdPie (4) would love for me to paint her toe nails but NerdDad and I have always agreed that she isn’t old enough. But some of the commenters had some great points. How is this different than getting a toy as a reward? Or ice cream? But on the other hand, girls who start things this young start to feel entitled to certain treatment and I don’t want to have to deal with that issue. So what do you all think? Chime in here and let me know!
I found out about this Friday meme over at Heart of the Matter where you post your thoughts about the following quote.
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”
– William Butler Yeats
I love this imagery for a couple of reasons. A fire being is active versus a pail that is static. The pail is filled by someone else where as a fire consumes its own fuel and if you don’t provide it, it will reach out and grab it if it is near. A pail is the same filled or empty, but a fire will die without fuel. A pail can only carry so much but a fire can burn forever.
The imagery of the fire is what I desire for my children. It isn’t about individual facts but a love for learning and a yearn for more. The unquenchable fire…..
So what do you think?
So after dinner tonight NerdPie (my 4 year old little girl) tells me she has a song for me. She claims that she and her doll made this up for me.
“No matter where I go,
No matter where I am,
You’ll always be my mama,
even when I’m dead”
While it was cute, I am mildly disturbed;).
Something I hear often after I say I homeschool is, “How do you do it with all your little ones”. Well, homeschooling a 6 year old when you have a 4, 2, and newborn is a challenge but it can be done. First, take advantage of any of the newborn’s naps. Then invest in some dollar big puzzles and dollar coloring books for the 2 year old. Then only let the 2 year old use those when you are schooling. Then they are his special “school” things. With the 4 year old use peer pressure and preschool work. Get some preschool workbooks and give them the choice to work on it. But if they don’t choose to work on it they have to play in their room or what ever you would let the 2 year old do. And yes I have use the line, “If you aren’t big enough to work on your school work you aren’t big enough to play on the computer while your brother works on his work”. It has worked pretty well so far for me!
I came across Thomas Sowell’s summation of a parent’s duty, “Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late,” in an article about conflicting ideas about parenting. The author, Tony Woodleif, a homeschooling father of four, lays out Sowell’s two competing theories:
Mr. Sowell contrasted the “unconstrained vision” of utopians, who want to radically improve humankind, with the “constrained vision” of realists, who begin with the proposition that man is inherently self-interested, and not moldable into whatever form the high-minded types have in store for us once they get their itchy fingers on the levers of power.
Like the author, I fall in to the “constrained vision” camp, described here:
The constrained vision indicates that world harmony and universal satisfaction are mirages. People are innately selfish, and they’ll always desire more goodies. This means that tradeoffs between competing wants are inevitable. My wife and I therefore forbid our children to use the word “fair.” Parents still in the thrall of the unconstrained worldview are prone to manipulation by their kids, who like little human-rights lawyers insist on fairness as an imperative. And don’t get me started on the damage that an exaggerated sense of fairness and entitlement has done to public schools. In our house things are much simpler: That last piece of cake had to be divided somehow, and in this imperfect world your brother got the extra frosting. Deal with it.
Also, read the article to get an thoughtful defense of “Because I said so.”
The Works For Me Wednesday subject this week is Parenting Advice. While of course I have lots of advice I had to figure out the most poignant and needed piece. The most important thing is to pray but the next part is to invest in your marriage. Remember, while the world seems to revolve around you blessed little rugrats, you and your husband were a family all on your own. This means always show a unified front. And yes, if you are picking sides it is always Mom and Dad against the kids. Studies show that kids are more secure if their parents have a strong marriage. Ways to do this…
Have a daily conference time with your spouse. Mine and NerdDad’s is after he gets home and changes. Then while we put the finishing touches on dinner we talk. Kids have to entertain themselves or play in their rooms. This isn’t a time for deep relationship issues but just updating each other on the goings on in life. It doesn’t just have to be about the kids. This is often when we talk about news from our friends, who won the board game at DH’s work at lunch, or headlines in the news. Another thing is follow through on punishing kids for going behind a parents back. You know, kid asks one parent and that parent says no so they go in the other room and ask the other. Also respect your spouse and demand that your kids do too. There have been times when a child will talk back to one of us. Often the other parent will step in and make it clear it isn’t acceptable to treat their parent that way. Also, if something is important to your spouse but not you, make it important any way. This is a great way to teach your kids to respect a parent. An example, I have a friend who doesn’t mind if her kids go from project to project, leaving things out, as long as they clean up once a day. That drives her husband up the wall. So she has made it clear that the kids need to clean up after they finish each thing.
Remember your spouse is the only person you can count on in this adventure of raising kids. Also, when the kids grow up and leave (which they will someday) you are going to be all alone again so build, build, build.
My kids all have their birthdays withing 2 months and sometimes it is very overwhelming. Do you give them each a party? If so do you invite all their joint friends to both? Do you have a party for all 3 or just the 2 that are in the same month? What about years like this one? My little girl is June 10th, my c-section is scheduled for the 18th, and the oldest is June 30th. Then we have one more in July. Well, we started doing a special day with just one kid. Last year my little girl (who was turning 3) wanted to go to Toys R Us (where she picked out her brothers’ Birthday gifts), then we went to the school store to get her first school book and then we went to JoAnn’s to get some fairy wings she had wanted for a while. Then just she and I went out to lunch and went home to put her to bed for her nap. Then the birthday kid gets to pick out their dinner (from a list of choices) and the dessert of her choice. My 3 yr old picked out a princess cake while her 5 yr old brother picked out this layered Italian cake he saw on Everyday Italian. My oldest went to see Cars with Dad and the out for burgers and milkshakes. They seemed to not even notice that they didn’t have big party and have talked about it all year. It gives them a little special attention and can take a lot of stress off mom and dad.
Last week I talked about concerns some people have about homeschooling, one of which is that kids are limited as to the types of people they are around. Apparently one public school think that separation is good, at a race level. Mount Diablo High School in the bay area separated students by race for a pre-exam pep talk. Personally I find this reprehensible as did some of the students. The students attended assemblies complete with flags of their heritage (or country of heritage) and they were told to do their race proud. They were informed how much better white kids on the whole do on these tests and were using race as a motivation. Now my kids are only in school with one race (at least the everyday stuff) but that is only because my husband and I only can make one race of child. But my kids are in groups with many different ethnicities and if I ever heard my kids making similar white comments, well you can’t even imagine what kind of trouble they would be in.
(HT: Joanne Jacobs)
When it comes to the non-homeschooling world’s view of homeschooling I am greatly frustrated. It seems that many people are frustrated with our public schools and admit that homeschoolers have a better grasp on academics. But they don’t like a)you are mostly around people who share your views and even more so b)that you are not being exposed to jerks. I was over commenting on an article on Two Babes and a Brain (read that comments too) about a district that is throwing out standards (you know, grades and grading). My natural response was that homeschooling was the perfect option. I was told by someone I respect that she didn’t believe in homeschooling for the 2 aforementioned reasons, especially since we as parents aren’t going to be around forever to protect our kids. (Don’t flame her, I am just using her comments as an example of an argument I hear all the time)
Then I was reading an article on a child that committed suicide over at Why Homeschool as a result of bullying. Henry points out that the public school doesn’t effectively deal with a bully nor the issue.
Then I was reading a final article over at Dr. Helen about the workplace being an extension of the school yard and workplace bullies. She began asking why these type of people are allowed to walk all over the rest of us.
People need to learn to control their emotions at work, but those who feel entitled, will continue to hurl abuse at co-workers if they think they can get away with it without any repercussions such as the embarrassment of being called out on the carpet for their tacky and unprofessional conduct.
That is when it all fell into place. As homeschoolers, I hope we are all teaching our kids to a)not be bullies and b)not tolerate be bullied. Imagine how all the world would change with that attitude. Part of the attitude I hear is that we all lived through it but is that a reason to do anything? I personally want better for my kids both how they are treated and how they behave. So I am going to hold onto the fact that we are revolutionizing the world! If the rest of the world is jealous that we are willing to do what can to protect our kids, I am sorry but you can’t bully me;).